Like much else in life, the anticipation was worse than the actual event - thus I had a good cry Sunday night and a rough night sleep full of bad dreams. But Monday really wasnt THAT bad. I was lucky that John took paternity leave this week and next so I didnt have to wrestle with trying to get ready, get the baby ready adn get both of us out of the house. Nor did I have to face dropping him off at daycare. Instead, John brought him to daycare for a few hours each day to ease him ( and us) into it. So on Monday I left a sleeping, cute baby - no tears from either of us. Coming to work was nice - it was great to wear real clothes, have my hair done, socialize with my co-workers and catch up on all the gossip. Thats pretty much how my first day back went. Tuesday we had an event and Wednesday I had a bunch of "catch up" meetings. But by Thursday I can safely say I was "over" being back and ready to be back at home with Sol. There just isnt enough in the day to distract me from missing my little man.
To top it all off Sol got a pretty bad cold this week - so when I am with him he's either sleeping or fussy, coughing, sneezing or breathing like an 85 year old smoker. Every time he coughed it was like someone tore my heart out and stepped on it. It was soooo hard to leave him. John took v.v. good care of him and he never got a fever or anything and he's already on the mend - but still - it will forever be remembered that Sol got a cold my first day back at work. Ug - this mom stuff is tough.
I'm sure it gets easier - as it already has ( we are doing a lot less loads of laundry as Sol goes through less onesies and diaper rags!). I know its the right thing for me and for Sol. I need to re-engage my mind and he needs to be socialized and not be a momma'sboy - But I would be lying if I said didnt wish we would win a zillion bucks so I could stay home with Solly everyday. Oh and I'd give my left arm for him to never, EVER, get sick again.
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